In the Spring of our lives, the seeds of who we would become were planted by our parents, friends, and the community in which we lived. As children, we grew up watching cowboys and Indians, Lassie and Captain Kangrew on a black and white TV; an incredible advance over the radio of our parents. We started school with rugs for afternoon naps, learned our ABCs, multiplication and division tables, and played on playgrounds that seem to go on forever. We learned most of what would be important from those around us we called friends and quickly experienced the joys of inclusion, and sorrows of being picked last for kick-ball.
Throughout our grade school years, our dreams were without boundaries and our heroes were easy to identify; they always wore white hats. We played in the streets, cooled off by fans, and never knew what we were missing by not have a brand name other than Sears or Wards on our clothes. We knew and were known by every adult around and most of our moms were still in the home.
Changes characterized our young lives during Junior and Senior High. Nature was working on our bodies, teachers were still thought of as adults who should be respected, and suddenly our parents didn’t necessarily know everything; but were still in charge. School events and sports took on a new dimension of pride and competition, friendships deepened, and creating new friendships with those from other neighborhoods suddenly competed for time and attention. It was the great mixing pot. Music captured the essence of the time: our parents’ country and ours’ the new rock and roll.
Little did we know, until it was too late, high school days would be transitional for the rest of our lives on so many levels. And now we know, this never changes.
Late in our spring, some would experience a more radical change brought about by college or military service, and within several years of graduation, most of our generation would have settled down into a relationship we hoped would last a lifetime and we began raising a family of our own.
Nothing prepares you for the responsibility of a newborn looking up to you with big bright eyes; their protector and provider. Many of us were lucky to have our parents to help and guide us, as we quickly learned the lessons of parenthood without an instruction manual.
Our Summer was the season of growth for our children and us too. Our every moment filled with their needs, their growth, their discovery, and their development. We kept them healthy while they grew their minds and began to mirror our values. We kept them close but gave them room to grow and experience life. We made choices which would forever impact their lives and values; as well as their opinions of us. We tried to demonstrate by example what we hoped they’d embrace. We cheered their triumphs, participated in their every event, and set expectations very high, but with effort, certainly within their reach.
We worked hard to provide for our family and ourselves. Our jobs were important and fertile with new friends emerging to bring new insights and new perspectives. We learned the harsh realities of the work world and many found two paychecks were needed to provide what we desired for our family. Cars, homes, vacations, and brand names grew in importance and created a new competition we all found ourselves in.
For some of us, there was a touch-stone with our friendships from school or the neighborhood we settled in. We’d meet and play cards or talk while our kids ran around the room until they fell asleep from exhaustion. We’d catch-up on other friends travels and those in other circles. We’d laugh and sometimes cry as the world made each of us remember just how small we were in the grand scheme of things.
Our summer became our children’s spring as seasons continue to unfold. No one knows how children will “turn out”. All one can do is create an environment supporting values, has high expectations, and communicates unconditional love: all reinforced with essential boundaries. Our prayers for each child: health and happiness; to find their way and a soulmate to help travel the journeys of life together with.
Our Fall was filled with the laughter and joy only grandchildren can bring. We found ourself suddenly becoming the safety net and we tried to help in any way we could. That’s what families do. We provided understanding and a soft shoulder of grace and tenderness as we hope to influence and support our children and grandchildren. We were lucky, we became a confidant, sounding board, counselor. Our most precious gift: to be a valued and trusted friend to both generations; rewarded with children who respect and call without hesitation, regardless of topic; and grandchildren who return our adoration. A goal worth having.
Our perspective now greater than when in the middle of the battle, and our outcomes more gratifying when not in the heat of daily life. We suddenly became the keeper of traditions which will determine how we’ll be remember over time, for after all, isn’t it the traditions of each family that are the genesis of memories between generations? Traditions and memories become all important in the fall of our life. They’re what make families unique.
Winter crept upon us slowly and without any warning; difficult for our inner-self, our mind; who is that person staring back from my mirror? Many of our passions replaced with memories, comfort, and companionship. Our joys ever expanding, now to marvel as we watch our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren; each, pass through their seasons. Our family continues to grow and we struggle to keep our arms around them all. So much has changed. Only love has endures. We embrace and marvel at both.
As night follows day; each season must be experienced and honored by each generational member.
For them as for us; a season brings its own hope, joy, and sorrow as the cycle is repeated and only memories survive as a season moves on.
Too soon each family will experience the grief of loss. One of us will have to survive without our anchor in life. Only memories of blessed events throughout the years do we carry, committed to our family with only small regrets which never scar the incredible life we’ve enjoyed.
Thank you, and I love you, seem so inadequate, for no words can describe what’s in our hearts. We know our journey has been worthwhile for each and precious for our family.
BillDeFoor 